Saturday, September 4, 2010

I Gave Birth To Bigfoot

It's Saturday night, so what are all the cool kids doing? Interviewing each other. Okay, so the cool kids are totally not doing that, but we are. My questions, daughter Johanna's answers. Go.

1. If you were a kind of juice, what kind of juice would you be?
Pineapple.

2. What time of day are you? why?
I'm all day. I'm all day, every day.

3. If you were a school administrator, how would you deal with racism?
I wouldn't.

4. What's one thing about yourself that no one else knows?
I make life decisions in the shower, and I don't wear pants when I'm doing my makeup.

5. If you were going to a deserted island and could only take three things, what would they be?
Tyler Goodrich's backpack, my camera, and eyeliner.

6. Who would you want to have on the island with you?
Tyler Goodrich, because how am I gonna get his backpack without him?

7. If you were a chicken, what would your name be?
Chicken.

8. What's one stereotype that you TOTALLY think is true?
That girls are catty weiners.

9. If you are on the cover of a gossip magazine someday, which one would it be and why?
The National Enquirer, because I'm Bigfoot.

10. Candles or firebombs?
Firebombs. Duh.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ever Heard of a Crop Rectangle?

Big storm last night here in southwest Illinois -- not exactly newsworthy, but then woke up and looked at the community garden that happens to be in my backyard to see that the corn had disappeared.

Well, that's what it looked like at first -- actually it was laid flat. Which, after a storm, wouldn't be so weird except not a single other thing was blown around, the tomatoes, okra, peppers, stakes, tree branches, those super awesome rubber balls you get for like two bucks at WalMart, totally cool. The two plots of corn? Flattened.

Because we have to make up weird, highly-unlikely theories to keep our lives here from being soul-killing-ly dull, we're going with aliens. Are you with us? Here are the pics ...