Some Things I Have Not Blogged About, Since I Stopped Blogging, Part Deux

Last May I wrote a similarly titled post, having slacked off on the blogging. I made a good run of re-blogging (I made that word up, you can use it if you like) for a while, but then, true to form, slacked off again. Well, here I am once more. Mostly due to unemployment. Anyhoo, a new list, just to get you up to speed:

1. Turning 39. Woo hoo! Uh, yeah.

2. My new tattoo. Yeah, I do have one, but what is this, Groundhog Day? These are the first two items on last year's list too. I need to get some new material.

3. My car being hit. Okay, so this one is a little different (last year - stolen). I was hit by a school bus though. While I was in the car. And they took off, no doubt figuring it would be near impossible for me to identify the large yellow bus with the giant number "43" on it. Clever.

4. Signing up for Match.com. Wait, did I just say that out loud??? Crap. Well, now you know. It is truly a blog-worthy experience however, let me tell you. And perhaps sometime I will. And at least it's something different. That's my bold new move for this year -- internet dating. Good lord. Moving on ...

5. Brett Favre's retirement. Shit, here we go again. I have nothing -- NOTHING -- to say about this, but yes, another repeat. Brett, you need to get some new material too. I'm just sayin' . . .

6. Cherry stollen. I have nothing to say about this either, except it's a delicious baked treat I enjoy. And it's sitting over there on the kitchen counter, staring at me. I may have to do something about that.

and last but not least . . .

7. A complete and total existential breakdown. It's no longer an isolated episode. It's a way of life.

Google Analytics Addiction: Is There a Support Group or Something?

Two words. Google. Analytics.

Okay, before I start, let me be clear about this: I hate statistics. Well, I hate keeping statistics, taking them, attempting to decipher them all by my lonesome. Statistics class in college was my most dreaded, which is why I saved it 'til my very last semester (and then barely scraped by with some stupid project on PDAs. Yeah, Public Displays of Affection. What the heck was I thinking? Hard to say.)

Anyhoo, turns out I love statistics as long as someone else puts them together for me. And when they're about something the directly involves me. And when they're presented in multiple fun formats with a bazillion different aspects I can access at the click of the mouse.

Which is why I am addicted to Google Analytics.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a brief overview: Google Analytics allows you to put a tracking code in the HTML of your blog, and it will then keep track of all your traffic. Or lack thereof (and there's the rub).

On days when I have a blog post that's included in the BlogHer network ad picks, I am in Analytics heaven -- I revel in my ability to look at the sources, cities of origin, networks, keywords, even screen resolutions. Right -- I'm a freakin' dork. But I am read! I am noticed! I am popular!

And then there are the rest of the days (like 26 out of 30) where I have my REGULAR traffic, which can range from, say, 3 visits to, oh, maybe, 12 (actually 10 but work with me here). And then there are the rest of the rest of the days (like 3 out of 30) where I have NO TRAFFIC AT ALL. On those days, I click on my blog myself, just so later on my traffic line graph doesn't quite dip all the way down to zero.

Oh my god I can't believe I just told you that. It's a sad sad little blogging world I have here.

And I would be feeling truly pathetic about all of this, were it not for the fact that in my new job with Simply Good Media (home of The Budget Fashionista -- shameless plug! Woo hoo!) I am encouraged -- nay, expected -- to "analyse" the Google Analytics. Now I get paid to check traffic sources and entry paths.

The blogging gods have smiled upon me, my friend.

Now, if you would just click some more posts around here so I have something on my own Analytics account to affirm my blogging self-worth, that would be great, thanks.

P.S. That image is not MY Google Analytics account -- I am far too lazy to grab a screenshot, and quite frankly, this traffic is waaaay better. Also, I had intended to comment on some of the weird place/search keywords I've encountered on Google Analytics, but the dog needs walking, so that will have to wait until Part Deux -- I know, cliffhangers suck.

Questions That You Must Answer Before You Leave This Page

Blogging is a lonely business. After a comment-free post or two, it leaves me dangerously susceptible to posting some exceedingly dull and self-indulgent navel-gazing (it's a pretty nice navel, but still). Soooo, I am reduced to begging. Please please please leave a comment (Colin J and Wisconsin Mommy, you are already on board, so thanks for that).

But seriously -- I envision blogging as an interactive experience, and while I would never discourage a reader (and you are out there -- I know this because I am obsessive about my Google Analytics stats -- it's a sickness) I would enjoy this far more if I were to hear from you. Er, you may argue that reading this is supposed to be about your (potential) enjoyment, not mine, but that may be selfish of you. I'm just sayin'.

Okay, now I'm alienating people. Redirecting . . .


New tactic: I will try to make it more interactive by giving you reason to respond. And how do you get people to respond? Just like that, actually. Asking questions. Who can resist? See, there I go again . . . Alright, getting on with it, sorry.


Today's Questions That You Must Answer Before You Leave This Page (or TQTYMABYLTP -- catchy!):


1. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?


2. If aliens invade, what's your plan?


3. If you go off the deep end, where do you end up?

Ohhhh, I feel as thought I'm setting myself up for failure here. Don't let me down people.