Thinking Rash-ly

I have spent the last two days obsessing about poison ivy. I haven't seen any lately, but apparently that's not a necessary component to reacting violently to it. Okay not violently. But it stinks, nonetheless.

At first I thought I had lupus. I have found that any strange combination of symptoms my body exhibits at any given time can look exactly like lupus. Just ask MayoClinic.com. They tell me so everytime I visit.

Eventually I realized, however, that the migraine was just a migraine, and my hair is falling out because the women in my family loose their hair. Oozing and hair loss. It's been a banner week.

At any rate, as soon as I diagnosed myself, I noticed that columnists and writers everywhere were obsessing about the same topic. Well, not everywhere. In a couple of places. And it's summer, so not such a stretch I guess.

But, it's like when you're pregnant, or when you get a new car. Suddenly it seems that everywhere you turn are swollen, waddling women. Or a black Jeep Cherokee just like yours. An epidemic of them, almost. Just like poison ivy. Only not as foul, and usually not oozing.

Speaking of foul and oozing, it's remarkable how many thoroughly disgusting photos there are of poison ivy rashes online. I will save you the horror by not linking any here. Suffice it to say, I've been scarred for life, and I don't mean just on my skin.

I will comfort myself with the knowledge, however, that poison ivy is a minor problem to have, in the big scheme of things. A minor, but really annoying, problem.