Thursday, May 15, 2008

Man Arms

This is an inside joke between my daughter and me so it may fall flat as I thrust it out into the "real" world (Does a blog count as the real world? Discuss.)

Recently, TMZ (Uh, did I just admit to reading that? Daily? Stop that!) featured a photo of Madonna and her new trend . . . man arms. This made me laugh hysterically. Why, you may ask? Because for the last two months, my 12 year old has been harassing me about my very own pair. Of man arms, that is. Her words. Man. Arms.

Now I am 5'3" and about 100-105 lbs. depending on which way the wind is blowing, so a body-builder I am not. In shape, though? Thanks to a guilt- and age-driven gym regiment, it's not bad actually. Not bad at all. Did I mention I turned 38 recently? And that I have a new tattoo? Uh, yeah. Moving on . . .

The truth is my daughter thinks I am far too manly -- I drink beer, read Esquire, and enjoy Fight Club possibly just a little too much (and not just because Pitt is smokin'). So the fact that I have well-defined arm muscles apparently just puts me in a category that is just a bit too butch for her comfort.

I have been assured by others in my life that I am not butch. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The bottom line is that I am thinking of bringing legal action against TMZ (and Madonna, what the hey) for stealing my trend. I could use the cash and am, at this point in my life, shamelessly attention-seeking.

This is a very sad excuse for a blog post. I apologize. Hopefully no one is reading this.

If I weren't so effing lazy I would get a photo of my own man arms, and post them here for your consideration (which might be a moot point if in fact no one is reading this). Actually, I believe I will do that, but true to my commitment to procrastination, I shall do it lata.

And if you are reading this, I am sure that is just the hook I need to bring you back. I'm clever like that.

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